From Zones to Action: Helping Kids Regulate When Emotions Are Big
- Monique McNamara
- Aug 12
- 8 min read
Have you ever had a student proudly point to the color zone they're in... only to spiral minutes later when something goes wrong?
It can be so disheartening.
You've spent time teaching the zones, hanging posters, practicing check-ins. And yet, when emotions run high, many kids freeze, act out, or shut down. Not because they aren't learning, but because there's a gap between naming a feeling and knowing what to do with it.
Maybe you've seen a child correctly identify the Yellow Zone, but sit there unsure of what comes next.
Or you've had a student go blank during a stressful moment, forgetting every coping skill you've practiced together.
There are those who resist talking altogether, not because they’re unwilling, but because words feel like too much.
Others might enter your space completely overwhelmed, looking for relief but unsure where to begin.
And some struggle with the fact that they’re in a completely different emotional place than everyone around them.
These are the moments that call for more than just awareness. They call for tools that help kids move from recognition to regulation, in real time.
Tools that feel accessible when feelings are big, and flexible enough to meet different needs on different days.
Whether you're setting up a calm corner or just trying to figure out what to offer a student who can't sit still, I hope this gives you clarity, encouragement, and next steps.
Why Knowing the Zones Is Not Enough
A lot of kids can point to the color they’re in. They might even rattle off a list of emotions that fit inside it. But that doesn’t mean they know what to do when they land there.
Self-awareness is only one part of regulation. The other part is doing something with that awareness. For many students, that’s where things fall apart.
You might hear a child say, “I’m in the Red Zone,” and then yell across the room five seconds later. Not because they’re being disrespectful, but because naming a feeling didn’t shift their state. They still felt it. And they didn’t have an actionable next step.
This is the gap we need to bridge. We need to help students move from color knowledge to self-support. What they need are simple, accessible tools that make this transition feel less abstract and more doable. And they need to be introduced to those tools early, often, and in a way that feels safe.
5 Real-Life Roadblocks Kids Face and What Actually Helps
These are the kinds of situations that come up when you're right there in the moment with a student, wondering what will actually help. Let’s walk through five of the most common ones together.
Each one shows up a little differently, and each one asks for something slightly different in return. But they all share one thing in common — they highlight the difference between knowing about regulation and being able to access it.
1. "I Know My Zone, But I Don’t Know What to Do Next"
It’s such a common moment. A child identifies their zone during check-in, but then they just sit there. Frozen. Unsure. Looking to you for the answer. Even though you’ve practiced it a dozen times.
What’s missing isn’t the understanding of emotion. It’s the connection between the color and an action they can take to feel more regulated. That next step needs to be so familiar and accessible that it almost feels automatic.
This is where visual tools can make a big difference.
Tools like the Zones of Self-Regulation Worksheets offer pages where students can explore which tools work best for them in each zone. They’re not just coloring or naming feelings; they’re linking emotions to personalized regulation strategies.
You might also reach for the Zones of Self-Regulation Toolbox, which is packed with quick, simple coping ideas organized by zone. The visuals do the heavy lifting, so students don’t have to rely on memory alone.
These kinds of tools build confidence. They help kids feel like they have a say in what happens next, turning color recognition into meaningful self-support. They also help reinforce that no single feeling is “bad” — just something we can work with.
And for students who often feel like emotions happen to them, having clear options helps them feel like they have more control, even when things feel big.
2. "My Brain Goes Blank When I’m Upset"
Some students freeze as soon as their emotions start to rise. They’ve learned the tools. They’ve practiced them with you. But when they need them most, everything disappears. They’re left staring into space, unsure of what to do next.
This isn’t a lack of effort or interest. It’s a sign that their nervous system is overwhelmed, and memory and reasoning have temporarily gone offline.
What they need in that moment is not more explaining. It’s quick access to external cues and calming actions that don’t rely on verbal recall.
That’s where visual reminders and multisensory supports come in. Tools like the Zones of Self-Regulation Flashcards or the Dice Game give students something they can hold, read, or roll to prompt the next step. They’re simple, concrete, and designed for moments when the mind goes quiet but the body still needs support.
You can also pull from the Zones of Self-Regulation Toolbox, which organizes calming strategies by zone. When students see their color and a matching list of quick tools, it helps the brain re-engage, gently and without pressure.
Even just placing a familiar tool in a student’s hand — no explanation needed — can be enough to start shifting their state.
3. "I Don’t Want to Talk About It"
Sometimes, you can tell something is wrong, but when you ask, the student shrugs or shakes their head. “I don’t want to talk about it.” “I don’t know.” “It’s nothing.”
And the truth is, in that moment, they probably mean it.
Not every child is ready — or able — to describe what’s happening internally. And when the only tools we offer rely on talking, it can leave these students feeling even more disconnected.
That’s why non-verbal tools can be so powerful. They allow students to express, release, or regulate emotion without having to say a word.
The Zones of Self-Regulation Monster Emotions activity gives students a visual language for identifying how they feel. The monsters are expressive, colorful, and different enough that students can often find one that captures their internal state — even if they can’t name it.
Pair that with something like the Zones of Self-Regulation Keyring, and you’ve got a pocket-sized prompt tool students can point to, flip through, or hold quietly while they regulate.
These approaches take the pressure off. They give students a chance to stay connected without needing to explain. And for some, that’s the only way in.
4. "I Know What Works, But I Forget to Use It"
This one is sneakier. The student seems to have it down. They’ve practiced their coping tools, they’ve filled out their worksheet, they even remind others what to do. But when the moment hits — they freeze. Or explode. Or disengage.
You ask later, “Why didn’t you try your breathing card?” They say, “I forgot.”
It’s not an excuse. It’s their brain trying to protect them from overwhelm by filtering out extra information. Unfortunately, it often filters out the exact strategies that would help.
The key here is repeated exposure in low-pressure moments. When a student interacts with a strategy often — through movement, play, or creative application — it becomes easier to access when things get hard.
That’s where the Zones of Self-Regulation Worksheets come back in, especially the pages that encourage self-reflection and planning. Students can map out their go-to strategies in advance, so the next time they forget, there’s a visual they created themselves waiting for them.
And for something more active? The Zones of Self-Regulation Board Game turns coping skills into part of a story. Kids roll the dice, land on prompts, and practice naming or acting out tools. It’s fun — and it’s practice, without the pressure.
When kids feel like they already know a tool inside and out, they’re more likely to reach for it in real life.
5. "I Can’t Sit Still Long Enough to Calm Down"
Some kids can’t sit still, and honestly, they shouldn't have to. For students with high energy, impulsivity, or restlessness, the idea of “calming down” in a chair or in silence can feel completely out of reach, even counterproductive.
Maybe you’ve had a student in your office who is pacing, bouncing, fidgeting nonstop, and everything in you wants to say, “Let’s sit down and talk.” But their body is saying, “I can’t.”
In those moments, what they often need isn’t less energy; they need somewhere for the energy to go. Regulation starts by helping the nervous system release that energy through movement, not by forcing stillness.
This is where active tools can make all the difference.
The Zones of Self-Regulation Board Game is designed to combine movement, play, and emotional learning in a way that feels natural. It gets kids up, rolling dice, answering questions, acting out situations, and practicing regulation strategies, all while staying engaged and on the move.
It helps kids feel like their movement belongs in the process, instead of being something they have to fight against. And for many students, that’s exactly what makes it work.
You can also pull in supplemental supports like the Dice Game, which adds a physical, tactile action to choosing a strategy, perfect for students who regulate best when their hands are busy.
These tools make it clear: regulation doesn’t have to be quiet or still. It just has to be accessible.
Your Go-To Toolbox for Real-Life Regulation Moments
Each of the challenges we’ve walked through — blank stares, bouncing legs, kids who clam up or compare themselves to everyone else — are not signs that your efforts aren’t working. They’re signs that regulation is complex, layered, and deeply individual.
What works one day might not work the next. What helps one student might overwhelm another.
That’s why the Zones of Self-Regulation Bundle was created. It brings together seven different tools that support students across different stages of the regulation process:
✏️ Zones of Self-Regulation Worksheets for reflection, identification, and planning
🎲 Zones of Self-Regulation Board Game and Zones of Self-Regulation Dice Game for movement and play-based engagement
🧠 Zones of Self-Regulation Toolbox and Zones of Self-Regulation Flashcards for quick-access, no-fuss strategies
🎨 Zones of Self-Regulation Monster Emotions for nonverbal emotional expression
🔑 Zones of Self-Regulation Keyring for portable, discreet reminders kids can carry with them
These tools give you options. They make your calm corner more inviting, your check-ins more effective, and your sessions more supportive, not just for the students who talk and sit still, but for all of them.
Ready to turn emotional awareness into real-time action? Create a self-regulation toolkit that works in the moment, not just in theory. Make your calm corner a place that truly supports kids, no matter what zone they’re in.
Gentle Observation: If you’ve ever left a session feeling unsure if you “did enough,” especially when a child struggled to engage or respond to your usual supports, you’re not alone. These moments can feel heavy, but they’re also where some of the most meaningful work happens.
You’re showing up. You’re noticing. You’re adapting.
Self-regulation isn’t about perfection. It’s about helping kids find something that works, even when things feel messy. And on the days when you feel like you’re guessing, or when nothing seems to land, know this: the care you bring matters. Your calm presence matters.
You’re doing enough.
And these tools? They’re just here to help make the hard parts a little bit easier.
Jemma (Gentle Observations Team)
P.S. If you're a Therapy Resource Library member, all the individual tools mentioned in this blog are already available in your membership. You can access them here:
P.P.S. Not a member yet? The Therapy Resource Library gives you instant access to over 300+ printable tools like these, organized by topic and therapy type. Join us here.
Comments